Welcome back!

Welcome back to me. It's been ages since I wrote anything on this blog. To be honest, I feel like my life is not that interesting to keep sharing. But what became apparent to me these last few days was my belief that everyone has a story to tell. I have a story to tell. It may not be as interesting or as adventure-packed as other stories, but it is unique in it's own way... because it's my own and no one else can tell it better but me.

So, I decided to write again. But this time I'll write because I want to share something that is/will be uniquely mine. :)

To begin, these past few days are a bit of an awakening to me. I have had so many "aha" moments that I both am fearful and happy to face. Specifically at work, I have had so many difficult yet clarifying conversations with people around me. What scares me about my "aha" moments is the truth-- the truth that I'm not sure I'm ready to face. 

I'm in a profession where I am constantly helping people. Honestly, I love it! I'm passionate about it! There is this deep sense of gratification when you're helping someone deconstruct daily challenges and come up with efficient solutions. The sad part about this job though is that, not all people will appreciate the help you can/will provide. Why? Because we have our own way to receive help, and really, if you think about it, even in this kind of a relationship, a good "fit" is always the key. How can you really know that someone has your back if you don't trust them... if you don't even feel like you can try? That's hard! It's not personal... just preference. 

But my take away lesson from this is that, in life, "It is what it is!" Things happen, people change, seasons come and go... but one thing that is constant... ME! I can only control me... my reactions, decisions, opinions, values, etc. I just have to be grateful that I have this freedom. 

As cheesy as it sounds, I love that a part of my story is that I'm free to choose who I can be!



So many things are happening on any given day. But one thing remains at the end of each and every day... Being grateful!

I am so blessed! Oftentimes, I feel so overwhelmed. Like today... Today was one of those days. I was able to spend the day with my daughter while I work from home. It was a blissful day!

And now, I see her in peaceful slumber... Looking so content... Makes me one very happy mom. 

And now, I am about to rest in the arms of the most wonderful man I know... The one who loves me unconditionally...

I am really blessed! Thank you Jesus!


See you Ate Portia

A few days ago, my mentor and a very dear friend of mine went home to be with the Lord. It took me a while to process because it feels so sudden. Needless to say, I'm heartbroken.

I met Ate Portia (I called her Teacher Portia then) in my junior year of highschool. I initially gravitated towards her bigger than life personality. She's loud and funny and always so animated! But as we grew closer, I found out that it's her wisdom and her deep love for God that made me want to be like her.

Our relationship started as mentor-mentee, but over time, it grew into a great friendship. And like how great friendships are, we remained close despite our distance. She has always been there during all my most memorable milestones...

... when I had my first boyfriend -- Ate Portia even invited him to practice our cotillion dance for our Junior prom! I will never forget that day because that's the first time I held his hand in front of so many people. For a young teenager, that was big!

... when I had my heart broken for the first time -- Ate Portia was there too when that relationship ended. I remember it was our NSAT summer classes, I told her that "we" broke-up. She made me feel so heard and valdated. For a young, insecure girl, break-ups can be damaging. But she empowered me with her encouragement that "this" is just a part of growing-up.

... when our class experienced a tragedy -- During our Junior year, we lost two classmates. An accident occured while doing ROTC exercises. I was not there when it happened, but most of my classmates are. I was so confused then... so guilty that I wasn't there to help. But she was the one who consoled me and gave me permission to get confused while grieving. It was a dark time for all of us. But ate Portia, together with Teacher Beth, became my pillars of strength.

...Our Junior Year Prom -- oh, she and Teacher Beth and Rene fought for us to have one! And the best part, they allowed us to plan it just the way we want it too!

... during our Senior year -- oh, I have to put this in just one paragraph because the memories are just too many to mention! Geez, she was there for everything! For the time that I wanted to just skip my Senior year all together and just get home-schooled-- Ate Portia didn't discouraged me on that, by the way... she said that I should do what's best for me... guess what? I stayed in school. For that time that I was involved in the fieldtrip scandal! OMG! Totally a misunderstanding, but she made sure that she was there to protect me. It was hard to follow her at that time, but I'm glad I did. For the honor roll fiasco-- I remember wanting to just give up being valedictorian just to keep peace. She's the one who taught me to stand-up for what is rightfully mine... and that I should not live bending to other people's rules. For all of that and for so many more!

... when she started liking Kuya Noel -- Okay, this is her milestone, but I'm so privileged that I was involved early on in their relationship. And I loved seeing the giddy side of her... I love that she was so comfortable with me. Oh, we shared so many stories of our "kilig" moments. I can still vividly remember how fun that was!

... when I moved to the US -- it was hard for me to move away, but Ate Portia was always in touch. Friendster first then Facebook. I am grateful because she always finds time to check on me even if it's just a hello!

...when I got married -- When I met the man of my dreams, Ate Portia was one of the first people I shared this with. I remember her being so happy for me. I love that she was always very supportive.

... when I had Micah -- Being a mom too, Ate Portia easily became one of my confidantes. Being a great mom herself, she's always there to be an encouragement to me... most especially during those times that I am feeling so unglued. I love how she always compares Micah to me and I love that she always tells my daughter all the good things about her mom. It makes me feel so blessed to have a friend like her who always sees the greatness in people.

Ate Portia has been one of my greatest influencers. I will never forget all the great things she has taught me...

... That I am made to be great

... That I am loved and treasured by a God who has made me to be great.

... That living a life of integrity is the best testimony

... That I am who I am and I should celebrate who God made me to be

... That I should enhance my God-given abilities and never settle for anything other than the best

Ate Portia, I am going to miss you very much. But I am so happy because I know this isn't goodbye. I know we will see each other again. Thank you for everything! I love you very much!


And I think to myself... what an imperfect world

So many things have happened, decisions made that just reinforced the fact that it doesn't matter how hard you try to be good... be the best... This fallible, imperfect world will still gravitate towards the ugly and what is wrong.

So, what's the point then? What's the point of living in integrity, having values, always doing your best when it the end, this world opposes everything that's good, fair, loving, kind? It's like the more you try to be the better person, the more you're looked at as someone who doesn't fit in. An outsider... a hypocrite.

So what's the point? I tell you what the point is... John 15: 18-19

“If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world’s terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God’s terms and no longer on the world’s terms, the world is going to hate you."

So there you go...


So... many... things... happening!

Hello, hello!

Oh yes, that has been a very looooooong time of being MIA, right? Believe me, there were days that I was jumping off my skin wanting to post the many things that are happening in my life. But often, it's a choice between sleeping or updating my blog, and I'm sorry to say, but I need my sleep.

It's quite sad that lately my life has been so busy that even taking a quick nap is now considered a luxury. But God is good because I actually have a few minutes this morning to tell you a quick update on how things are going with our family... I just have to type a little faster than my brain dictates.

1. First off, I just want to say that the transition for Micah to go from 3 days of preschool to now KG has been a relatively easy one. Thank God she loves school, so it wasn't actually a big deal for her to go 5 days/week In fact, when I come early to pick her up, she usually gives me a "what are you doing here so early?" face. I don't know if that's a good thing for her not to miss me that much :(

2. On the contrary, my transition to go back full-time at work has been challenging one! I actually miss my Tue/Thr days off because I can catch up on my chores/errands/tasks to do at home. Now, it seems like the weekend fly by so fast that I don't even feel the "oh, cool! The weekend is here!" kind of feeling anymore because before I can even sit and think, weekend is already over.

3. One of the great things that has happened though is that I am back to serving in the ministry! Actually, ministries! Am I spreading myself thin or what? :-) But I am very glad to be a part of the children's and worship ministries because, aside from the fact that serving in any capacity is really close to my heart, I feel that I am really shaped to work with kids and to sing. But boy! Am I rusty!!!??? It's been a while, so I feel like I have to really re-learn so many things, plus learn so many more...

4. There is something big that will happen soon... can't share it yet but once it pans out then you'll be the first to know!

Okay, I am outta time! I have a project to finish at work. Oh dear, I'm yawning like crazy too.... I wanna go to bed...