7.09.2008

Can YOU hear me now?

There are times in one's life where everything feels so quiet it's deafening! I think I am passing that juncture at the moment. Don't get me wrong, everything in my life seems pretty fine - great husband, great daughter, good job, nice living conditions, a hybrid :-)... I mean, everything I've dreamt of happening when I pass this phase of my life is, pretty much, attained. But now, I feel so numb... so worn-out... so unplugged. Unplugged from the Source. Yes, that's it... unplugged.

I am a Christian and I pretty much do everything that I'm supposed to (I'm still working on the "don't say bad words" thing. A little hard when it comes to driving California freeways), but over-all, I think I'm better than I used to. But I feel empty regardless. I know a lot of people who went through the drought in their Christian walk... drought, meaning, when God seems so silent... I've always encouraged them with the famous phrase, "This, too, shall pass." I know in my heart that these moments of "silence" doesn't mean He's not there. At times, I know that these are just urgings to listen closely.

Am I not listening closely? Well, I thought I did. Have I gone deaf? Geez, I hope not!

Jesus, I know You're there but I can't hear You. It seems easily to walk the path You're directing me if I can hear You well... Are you just telling me something about my faith? Has it been so complacent? I'm sorry if it is... But I love you Jesus. I do. It's hard to show it because life always gets in the way, but You gave your life so I can have mine. Then, why am I making life an excuse? huh!

Again, I'm sorry... I know You're silent, but I know you care. That should be enough.

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