It's already 12:59 AM and I still can't sleep. My husband and my baby are both sound asleep. Look at her... Oh, my Micah... you are so beautiful and so big! Gosh, time really goes by so fast! Earlier, I was reminiscing how it all began - how Micah changed our lives...
Disclaimer: This entry may be unsuitable to readers who hate TMI (too much information) reader's discretion is advised :-)
I think I still remember the afternoon she was conceived... yes, it was a weekend afternoon. It was sweet and tender... One of the wonderful things I love about my relationship with my husband... almost everything is sweet and tender :-)
Anyways, I think my maternal instincts knew Micah was conceived that day. But, my "mother nature" monthly gift was never on time so I doubted my instincts until that fateful July day... actually night! I think I have missed the "gift" for a few months then and I was beginning to worry. Malcolm has been asking me to take a pregnancy test. I keep on postponing and postponing until I remembered a conversation I had with my friend Elaine a few months back, pretty much the same time of my "feeling" that she was conceived. Elaine proposed that we should get pregnant at the same time (she already had a baby and I think was trying then). I jokingly said yes... just to find out that, I think 1-2 weeks later, she was knocked-up! Remembering that conversation gave me the push to buy a two-pack pregnancy test kit. So, that July night, Malcolm and I are getting ready for bed... After I took a shower, I told him that I will do the test. He was in bed, so I left the bathroom door open as I took the test. After I "peed on the stick," without seeing the results yet, I told Malcolm that I was pregnant. I just wanted to see the shock on his face but I was the one who got shocked! I remember I was laughing at Malcolm as I was looking at the stick... then I saw one pink line...Whew! Oh no... wait... OH MY! the other pink line lit up like a bright neon light! I remember not being able to move. I think all I said was, "No, for real, I'm pregnant!" Malcolm hurried in the bathroom, looking at the stick and hugging me at the same time. As for me, I stayed frozen not knowing what to feel. It was a weird feeling of commingling happiness, fear, worry, relief, etc. Next thing I knew, Malcolm was calling everybody and I was sobbing uncontrollably. I was thinking, "This must be a false alarm. I can't be pregnant yet... we are not prepared for a baby... my GOD!" over and over again. After a long time of just crying happily and fearfully... Malcolm finally helped me to settle down. He assured me that everything is going to be fine... that God doesn't make mistakes and He chose us to be parents because He knows we are ready. My husband's love, encouragement and assurance calmed me down and drove away all the fears I was feeling, leaving just the joy of having a miracle grow inside me. After that, we took pictures, circled the date in our calendar and tried to figure out when her due date is and what her gender might be. I slept that night happy, excited and... happy that we are going to have a baby...
Then again the next day, I took the pregnancy test again just to make sure that she is there... Oh yeah, the neon lights were still flashing brightly. And, that was the day our lives changed... that was the day when we found out what "joy" is.
*YAWN* Okay, it's already 1:30 AM... I am sleepy now so I think I'll join the "loves of my life" in bed... to be continued on the next post!
No comments:
Post a Comment