Micah Renae

People say it all the time, one will never know what love is until they have a child. I have always thought of myself as very maternal. I love kids! I love their innocence, their simplicity, their honesty... everything! I love hanging around them mainly because I learn more from them than the so-called "adults." I love what these children represent in life that all of us, adults, most often fail to hold on to as we "grow-up." So, I didn't get how can people with kids outlove those who don't have kids... well, not until I had Micah.

It was the day of her birth that I found what people say to be true. The love that I felt when I saw her is indescribable. It was the kind of love that was born with my child. The kind that both broke and built me... the kind that has truly changed me.

It was indeed the happiest experience of my life... but out of having this love also brought an intense feeling of powerlessness. Reality hit me that I am responsible in protecting this miracle from the evil in the world... yes, I think I have never been so aware of my distrust of the world until I had a child. I remember the time when we were first left alone, mother and daughter... as I was looking at her, that was the moment when I felt every possible emotion there is. I felt the joy, the fear, the assurance, the confusion, the strength, the vulnerability... every emotion that I have never fully cherished before... it was the moment that I truly felt alive! I named my daughter Micah Renae. Micah, because I want her to believe in the God I believe in, and Renae because she was God's way for me to be reborn.

So, on that fateful, wonderful day of March 31, 2007, 3:02AM, I became a new person. I became a mom.

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