I am the type of person who always needs to vent all the time. I am not those types who can just suck it all in and still maintain their grace amidst difficulties - like my husband! As much as I admire those types (yes, you Malcolm! I admire you! MWAH!), I could NEVER just hold anything in if something bothersome happens to me, thus, most of the contents of my blog. So here it is, switching my "venting switch" on!
Okay, I've been out of commission for the past months because I have been so busy! Yes, so busy that I don't even know what is up with time! How come it's just breezing by so fast! It's like, every month something happens and I couldn't savor the "moment" of anything happening because they are just like dominoes... one falling just as the last one fell!
For starters, I cannot believe my daughter's four! How'd that happen? I look at this amusing young lady (yes, she wants to be called "lady" - not big girl - lady!) and I am just in awe! How in the world did she turn out to be this walking and talking burst of joy!? And my, her reasoning skills! Oh man! I couldn't keep up trying to answer all the questions! And what is up with the "why" follow-up question to everything? Geez! I promised myself never to answer my child "because mommy said so", but I find myself always so tempted to say it. I am both amused and scared as my "lady" grows-up... I don't think I will ever be ready for the day that she might not need me as much!
Of course, it will not be a true venting session without me talking about my husband - the man of my dreams who can also be a torn in my flesh! *LOL* Okay, so for the past months, Malcolm has been extra quiet. I don't know if it's because he has more to internalize now that our lives are constantly changing by the minute, or he just doesn't want me to barrage him with more asking to talk about "us". Yeah, I do like talking about "us" every minute of everyday, but can you blame me? I like talking and connecting through communication! Just my luck that I married the quietest man I know! I mean Malcolm is the perfect example of what a quiet soul is. But man, it is AWFULLY quiet! The man can practically be a monk! I mean, every time we "talk", I am the only one talking! And every time I ask his opinion about anything, his response in our 7 years of marriage is "Hmmm, let me get back to you on than honey. Give me some time to think about it". And when he comes back, I usually have forgotten by then what we were talking about in the first place! There is no bantering with the guy! Sheesh! But come to think of it, I guess that's why nothing fazes him... maybe the quietness of his soul is his strength. And come to think of it, God is indeed right in placing us together. Can you imagine how crazy it would've been if we were both like me... I mean it could be perfect, but who needs perfect when you can have bliss? :-)
Thirdly, since we moved, I have to adjust and readjust my comfort zones. I certainly don't mean this is a rude/bad way... I am just, again, saying! Living near Malcolm's family is the total opposite of being married to him that, at times I wonder, if he was adopted *LOL*! I mean, they're like Italians - voices are always heightened and a few decibels over normal. They're not fighting or anything... just louder what I am accustomed to. But I guess it's just differences in upbringing because in our family, being loud means yelling and yelling means anger. Maybe that's why it induces me to be stressed at times. But it's really just me and my paradigm. I do have to shift my way of thinking daily, so it doesn't bother me. But don't get me wrong, Malcolm's family is lovely! They are sweet, honest and VERY generous. And since living near them, I couldn't shed a single pound because MIL is one of the best cooks ever! Hmmm... I wonder if they do have Italian blood in them... with all that noise and good food, I am not surprised!
Next, my sister and her family are coming! Don't get me wrong, I AM SO EXCITED (as in SO EXCITED!) to finally see my nephew who just oozes with cuteness! He's 5 months now and I haven't seen him, hugged him, squeezed him yet, that I always, always feel so envious of my mom, dad, ate Gem and Nate that they get to spend time with Caleb (that's his name) all the time. But my sister Hannah, BIL Kyle and Caleb are coming in a few days and I am just reeling from the move and our recent trip to DL.Okay, to explain that statement, I have to share more... see, in our home, EVERYTHING is planned ahead. Every event means money and time... money and time is something I don't have the luxury to not plan ahead. Now, I feel so bad that because my sister is coming in, what I feel, the "could've been better" timing. I feel that I would be able to give them a better visit if our circumstances were better at this moment (ie. all boxes unpacked, kitchen cabinets replaced, garage cleaned out, extra $1000 in my pocket). I know I worry too much with things like this because I know at vacations are big! And I certainly want my sister and her family to have a great time! I don't want to be the "drag" in their vacay just because I have things to attend to. I, for sure, don't want this added pressure if I was visiting them in HI! But see, this is where Hannah and I really differ. She's such a free spirit that absolutely nothing worries her! All she's really concerned about is to see me and my family and have a great time! I guess, that I can give... so, in the next few days, I will stress and worry and clean up as much as I can. But the moment they arrive, I promise to be present with them, savoring the 6 days I get to spend with my lovable, oh-so-cute nephew (I mean, he's so cute, Mai keeps on begging me to ask auntie Hannah if we can keep him!), my sis and BIL.
Lastly, my work... so far, so good! I mean, I can't complain because I feel that I have been blessed with bosses that are very self dependent, and co-workers who don't get on my case. But that's just for me though. It's a different story for others, I know! That's why I feel very blessed. I only work 3 hours/day and it still serves as a good "collect myself" time. Not that my day job is bad since I do have the best job ever - being a mom/wife - but the 3/hr job gives me a good break... to make me feel accomplished in other areas of strength I have as well.
So there you go, my life in recent months in a nut shell. Amidst all its craziness, I do feel very blessed and grateful that God is continuously pouring multitude of reasons to be thankful for. Every venting session is good because it gives me a reason to talk my "issues" out loud just to come to the conclusion that I still have it better than others... like my husband always says, "It could be worse!" Yeah, nothing fazes that guy!
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