You owe it to yourself to ask

Being a Christian has never been easy, why, because Christianity has somehow been associated with religiosity, when the truth is, religion has very little to do with it. But like most misconceptions, a lot of Christians or non-Christians for that matter, just define "Christianity" in the context of religion because it's easier to understand that than defining Christianity as a relationship. After all, what can be more complicated than relationships! It's hard enough to maintain relationships with people, but to maintain a thriving relationship with 'THE CREATOR"? How can that be? How do you even start a relationship like that, let alone maintain it?

I could empathize very much with people who just lose their touch of what it is to have a thriving, amazing, life-changing relationship with Jesus. As I see it there's 4 scenarios of why we could be so short-sighted about this:

1. Having a relationship with someone you can't actually see concretely, hear audibly, touch physically is a hard concept to understand. We define and process things/feelings/thoughts with our senses and if it isn't accommodated by our senses, then it's usually hard to accept as truth.

2. The concept of God is usually so big to define, and it just makes more sense to pigeon-hole God to just that, the Creator who watches over his creation, and that we, his creation, most definitely don't want to piss off. After all, He is God and He can bestow punishment to the 3rd and 4th of our generations. And usually, when something, or in this case, someone is this BIG to define and understand, instead of pursuing who He is and what could be, we finite beings tend to just put whatever we don't understand at arm's length and just leave it at that. In this case, God is God - the Big Guy up there who looks down on us, a spectator to what's happening to the world, a God we pray to for guidance and all when we really need it, the one who gives us "something to think about" when we aren't doing something in line to what is good. But to accept that you and I and all our "matters", regardless of how immaterial it is, matters to Him - that every breathing moment we have, every thought we think about, every crease in our brow and what causes it to do so, every feeling, every move, everything - MATTERS to Him, that's something really complicated to accept as truth.

3.  Love is not an easy sell. A lot of people out there say that God is love and that God loves us that's why He sent His only Son to die for our sins. But a lot of people just leave it at that. So, it's like we are guilt tripped into loving God because He gave His Son for "our" sins. So, it's kind of hard to have a relationship with someone who premises that I should love Him because He did something for me, something that I didn't even ask for and that it's supposed to have saved me from eternal damnation - also something that I am not aware how it came about.

4. As I've said, God is already a hard concept to understand, and his supposedly "followers" - the "Christians" - don't do much to actually make it easier for common ragamuffin folks like me to fully understand who the "REAL" God is because of how they act towards the "non-believers". I mean, just that word, "non-believers"! It's like discrimination to those who don't actually believe what they believe. But ask them what they really believe, they can hardly even tell you! And what pisses me off about these so-called "Christians", they totally ruin what it is to know the truth because if there are people who are the most divisive, most judgmental, most selfish, most hateful - most of them are those who brand themselves as "Christians". It's sickening!

So yeah, I could definitely understand why it's so hard to understand "Christianity" in the context of having a relationship with Christ. However, just like those ignorant who brand themselves as "Christian" but totally live the opposite, we should not be ignorant in just believing what we hear. If Christ says who He says He is, then we should check it out for ourselves! I mean we owe ourselves to know the truth about Jesus. Otherwise, we are just as judgmental as those who call us "non-believers" or "unbelievers"...

As for me, I am very grateful for my parents because even if I was raised in a Christ believing household, it was never shoved in our throats to believe in Jesus. Of course when we were small, we are compelled to attend Sunday School and all (even sing Psalty songs to concerts, events, etc.). But what made me really want to get to know Jesus was my mom. I mean, my mom was never afraid to show her children her imperfection and if there is such a thing as a "hard life", my mom is an epitome of that. But to see this woman, who pretty much had her entire world come crashing down on her at a very young age, remain so loving and so hopeful and so positive and excited about life, not to mention all the lives she's enriching around her including mine, I just had to get to know the Jesus she's raving about! The Jesus that changed her life, that amidst all the crappy, dysfunctional, other-people's-choices-affected-her stuff, her heart can still love as much. By golly, who wouldn't want to know this Christ!? So, that's my precursor of wanting to know Jesus... but wanting to have a relationship with Him is another story. It's a great story though and I will share it one of these days.

So the bottom line is, ASK QUESTIONS! Don't go with the flow. Don't go with what other people tell you of who Jesus is. Go do your own research if He really is who He claims He is. Also, you ought to read the Bible, because whether or not you believe it, it is HISTORY. I mean, whether you want to know about Jesus or disprove Jesus, you will have to read the Bible with an open mind. And don't try to interpret it like an ignorant does. Do cross-reference checks. ASK. As I see it, the best way to learn about something is to really dig in deep with an open mind and hopefully, you will find it in your heart to empathize with me...

...why I do, with every fiber of my being - all that I am and could be, love Him so much.

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