How do you deal with two-faced people?

Being a person who is very protective of my integrity, I always have a hard time having empathy with two-faced people. I don't get how certain people can be so kind and friendly and loving in front of you, but they back-stab you like serial killer.

Like this person in my workplace... talk about two-face! I know she's the type who is really hard to be dealt with. She can be really mean to those she doesn't like and she can be a bully if she wants to. I guess in that sense, she's honest. But what I don't get is for those she considers her friends/chummies at work (which included me... yes, it's in past tense because I no longer consider her anything!). With these people, she doesn't bully them straightforwardly... she just goes behind their backs straight to their bosses if they do things that doesn't sit well with her. That's the thing, most often, it's not even something big. Mostly, these are issues that can be dealt with on a personal level if she would just talk to the person with an open mind that not all can be high and mighty (and thoroughly procedural) like her. What's so bad is that she doesn't just back stab them by going to their bosses not giving these people a fighting chance to explain their side, but also compromising their way of living! For what? So she can be perceived as all-knowing and infallible.

I've mentioned it before, there are people I consider invalidators-- narcissistic people who can suck the life out of you while appearing to do so because they care. I tread carefully when dealing with people who I purposely know as invalidators. But my radar seems to be off for certain people like this gal, who can be so manipulatively honest and real, but who will not think twice to stab you in the back just so she can look better. Maybe this is a boundary issue for me. I will have to learn how to put my boundaries up with people like her... after all, even Jesus said, "test every spirit".

Oh, well, at least now I know not to trust her... and to stay away from her!

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