Risking it all

I can't sleep. I can't help but to think about what happened earlier...

This evening, I risked doing something that I haven't done in the last 7 years, but a mistake was made on my part... I was too honest. It has been said that honesty is the best policy, but it didn't really say if it will result to the betterment of any given situation. If anything, it has the complication of making the honest one vulnerable to judgment. Truth, though favored, has never been popular. That is why it's in our human nature to lie, even rationalizing it (e.g. white lies). But why? Why is it that we make honesty a reason for judgment? Why, in our finiteness as human beings, can we justify judging people who are just trying to be true... trying to be real? Aren't we all the same when it comes to life? We all experience fears, insecurities, doubts, etc, so why do we to the ignorant thing of totally disregarding our humanity by poking judgments to those who are basically just like us, imperfect? God loves us regardless of it, why can't we? As long as we are in this life, we will feel every possible thing that would shake us to the core. What's stupid is trying to find faults in others so you can feel better about yourself. It doesn't give God a chance to do the impossible.

So, Lord Jesus, here I am... everything! I am hurting because I felt character assassinated... and worst, being questioned about my faith in you. But You are real Lord, and you are there. You honor everything we do in Your name and that's what I'm holding on to.